Week 6

I just finished week 6. To start, I’m changing my mind on keeping this private. Go ahead and share it however you would like. I’m trying to be more open, which has been helpful to me in writing these updates. I appoligize for being closed off and stuck up about all of this.

Monday I got my bike fixed, again. I got dropped off at a bike shop, but it never opened. Another guy was waiting too. He turned out to be a retired army general, and he gave me a ride to a different bike shop. It was fun to chat with him a bit. Got my second spoke fixed, and explored Lehi Utah a bit. Then I went to a high school baseball game with Laura’s friends, with pizza afterwards. Got to play with the kids for a while before bed, which was the high point of this trip so far. I know it’s probably creepy for a filthy bearded homeless man on a bike to talk to kids in the streets, but my happiest moments have all been conversations with kids.

Tuesday I got a ride past the rest of the city to the start of Provo Canyon. I rode all over the city Monday, so I didn’t feel bad skipping it again. Morning ride up to Heber City, which was nice, with some light rain. I met the bike mechanic in town, and had him put on a new chain. He knows Tim Neenan, who built my bike in 1982. I wasn’t happy about the bike after the spoke replacement on Monday. Anyway, the chain helped a lot. I started my big climb for the afternoon, which is when the thunderstorm started going strong. It was tough, but I made it to the top of the pass. The campground was closed, so I got the whole thing to myself. That was nice, because it gave me a dry picnic shelter to camp in.

Wednesday I was pumped. Put on my rainsuit and took off. Riding on the small shoulder on a busy highway, in the dumping rain, with trucks zooming by and spraying me every 10 seconds, and glasses to wet and foggy to see, but I didn’t care; I was finally moving!. Down a nice big grade, and POP. Another spoke. This time the wheel bent so much it wouldn’t even pedal. I sat by the road a while in the middle of nowhere, trying to think of the best way to quit my trip and find something else to do. Then I put out my thumb and caught a ride all the way back down the mountains. I think the bike mechanic felt bad for me, because he worked all afternoon for free. So with 2 days of hard riding all backtracked, I booked a shuttle for the next day to skip what I already rode (and a bit more). It was either that or quit the trip at that point.

Thursday I sat around still in a poor mental state, but it was nice to miss more rain. I took the shuttle at night with two lesbians and a gang banger. None of them were interested in knowing Jesus, so I spent most of the time looking at the lightning outside. I forgot my helmet on the shuttle, but slept inside out of the continued thunderstorm.

Friday Saturday and Sunday were all mostly just alone days riding. I’ve just been back in the grind. Wake up with the sun, pack up camp, ride, set up camp, fall asleep at sunse, all with some eating in between. I did attend church in Craig Colorado, after camping in their grass, which was nice. I used to be the person who wanted to avoid talking to people, but now I seek them out agressively. It can get lonely sometimes.

I’m now in Steamboat Springs, which is an amazing place. I have an extremely steep 7 mile climb to start tomorrow, which will be one of my hardest climbs yet. But if I can make it through 3 days of climbing, possibly again in the rain, I will start going down the other side of the Rockies. We will see.

Those were the events of the week, and here are my thoughts.

For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers,
Who give me my bread and my water,
My wool and my linen,
My oil and my drink.’ “Therefore, behold,
I will hedge up your way with thorns,
And wall her in,
So that she cannot find her paths.
She will chase her lovers,
But not overtake them;
Yes, she will seek them, but not find them.
Then she will say,
‘I will go and return to my first husband,
For then it was better for me than now.’
For she did not know
That I gave her grain, new wine, and oil,
And multiplied her silver and gold—
Which they prepared for Baal.

Hosea 2:5-8

I’ve still been thinking about the provision of God, and exactly how backwards I’ve been praying my whole life. My own efforts get me nothing. You can spend your days tending to trees and plants and one day of bad weather can kill them all and leave you to starve. Or good weather can come and bring life. It’s the same with a job. The pride that comes with imagining myself a great engineer is laughable. It’s a meaningless title that blows away in the wind as I die.

All provision, both physical and spiritual, is from God. He gives freely before you know what you need. Does a baby need to ask it’s mother for milk? Not at all; the baby trusts that the mom will provide for it’s needs, and she knows what to do. When the baby is tired it’s put to bed. Every need is taken care of. Now, I think there is a reason to ask for things in prayer. But I believe that it’s more a process to form your spirit into what it was intended to be, than to recieve anything.

I’ve watched birds stand in rivers patiently waiting until a fish comes by. Then the bird violently grabs the fish. The bird was looking in the river for one small reward. This is how I usually pray. “Oh God grant me this one request. Meet my one need”. I forget that I a standing in the river. Through Jesus’ sacrifice I am brought into union with God’s Holy Spirit. To truly pray is the act of looking beyond the physical, and look to the unending river of God’s Spirit. Praying is what teaches us, grows us, out of the narrow confines of what our senses percieve, and prepares us for eternity. 70 years in a body isn’t a long time to prepare, but it’s all we have. I can’t waste it praying for the tiny fish that I need in the moment, when I have been created for union with Christ. All created things will be taken from me. Everyone I love will be separated from me at some point. Praying takes me outside of the world. All the things I love so much, and all the horrible pains. Christ is above them all. Praying is the spiritual equivalent of working hard in school and getting a good job and having a great family and loving your life. Except this life and all the things in it have an end. I need to worry less about what I can get and have now. Whether my hopes are met or dashed on the rocks, it’s no matter. I need to look past that, into the open arms of Christ. Don’t look at the fish. Look at the river which is full of all good things, which flows freely for the taking. The fish will be taken from you. The river is eternal life flowing from the wounds of God’s crucifixion, and is His own Spirit.

To finish, I will just add a thought as to loving God. For years I struggled with understanding where love of God even starts. But it’s simple, and I knew all along. When I was very young, it meant so much to me to see my mom. I would run to her and hug her and she would pick me up. There was no reason whatsoever for that. It was simply that her presence was the fullfilment of all my wants and needs. I took for granted that she would feed me and take care of me, and never gave it a thought. I simply delighted in her presence. Praying is how you learn to delight in Christ’s presence. It may feel silly at first. It may feel silly for years. But it works.

Here are some pictures. Some days my phone was sealed in a waterproof bag, and sometimes I just didn’t take pictures. Not in order, as always. Sorry about that. I can use a PC, but Android software is beyond me. Sorry about any dupliactes.