Author: Matt

Preachy part first. skip it if you want to read about the events of my last week.

By day the hot sun fermented us; and we were dizzied by the beating wind. At night we were stained by dew, and shamed into pettiness by the innumerable silences of stars.

I believe that’s the opening line to the Seven Pillars of Wisdom, a book whose title is more impressive than it’s content, and less romantic and fantastic than it’s movie. But I used to think of it after a hot day of welding. I thought of it a lot last week as well riding through the high desert in Oregon. You can barely call it a desert, but it is certainly hot and dry in August. It is wonderful to feel the contrast of riding up and down steep hills in the desert with a hot headwind blowing west all day, to waking up shivering in the middle of the night to relieve myself and stare at the Milky Way. I’ve been in the desert before, but never constantly exposed like this. When I contrast the power of the sun and the stars, and the towering rocks and roaring rapids in the mountains, the climbs that require all of my body and mind to summit, against the cars and trucks screaming past me inches away all day, I see more clearly the sense of false power in mans cheap attempts to escape the curse of sin. A truck with air conditioning will easily climb a mountain if you simply move your foot a little. It will give you a little power for a little time. You can even move your hands to the right a bit and murder an exposed weirdo on a bicycle. False power. You will still starve if the curse to work the land isn’t fullfilled. The power of the sun and the mountains and stars and air is constant, immovable, silent, and ever present. Your flimsy truck and home and TV show and rock gods wear out quickly as their power is used up. All this to say two things. First, to paraphrase Alvin York “The fear of man is cowardice, but the fear of God is heroism”. If any man who ever lived knew what heroism and cowardice are, it was him. The second is Deuteronomy 14:11 “…How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them?” That rings true today. I’ve never met a homeless atheist. They may hate or love God, but enough time in the sun and they all believe. If a person can shut off the voices of news, music, TV, business meetings, friends, family, and find a wilderness of silence, they will hear God. Robert Fripp said “Quiet is the absence of sound, but silence is the presence of silence”. I have thought a lot about that in my life, and I would modify it to say that silence is the presence of God.

I left Mitchell on Monday. It was a long grueling climb all morning out of town. But the church we were at let us use the kitchen to make a big breakfast. The afternoon was a long gentle “downhill” ride to Dayville. Some neat canyons and gorges to see. Downhill is in quotes because even on days of net downhill, there are many many climbs. I’m learning not to complain about them as much, despite what you just read.

Dayville was a nice desert town. We stayed at the community church. Also used their kitchen to make spaghetti for dinner. I slept in the sanctuary, which was a lovely experience. Before bed, my temporary travelling companion and I were huddled next to the only fan in the church for a few hours in our underwear looking at maps and calculating elevations of upcoming mountain passes. It’s amazing how close you get to someone in a short time when you’re doing something hard with them.

Next was Prarie City. It was hot and dry, like all the last few days. That evening it cooled off and I sat in some grass in a breeze and felt truly present in the moment. After days of struggling with God on my rides wiping sweat and tears off my sunglasses all day, wondering when the burden of grief and regret would go away, God showed me my own heart as a sort of land area with a chapel at the center. I could see it was a nice place, but it was dusty and cluttered. Like a hoarders house. I could see that the chapel was the very best and highest place of my heart. He didn’t ask me to clean it up and make it nice for Him. He didn’t even ask to come in. He was resting outside against the wall. He simply said “It’s not as good when other things reside in there.” He didn’t say that the things that were in there were bad, and part of my struggle is that I know that they aren’t bad. Yet I could see it’s best to let Him take those things out and go live there Himself. The hard part is trusting Him with those things. They are precious and irreplaceable. Filled with hope and love, and all joy. Yet the hard part is to offer to let Him carry them off somewhere and never see them again. Sometimes the things we put in the best place are garbage things like music or TV or the world. But when we put good and wonderful things there, it is so much harder to give them up. Yet that is what Christ asked of us time and again. Give up ALL to Him. Not just the sin to be laid at the cross. But even the good and precious treasures He Himself gave you. The person of Jesus is the only treasure there is to be had. Besides Him, God gives and takes away at His own discression, and to fight Him is as futile as trying to stop the sun from rising. My body and mind haven’t come around to this truth, but My spirit is on it’s way. Progress I suppose.

After Prarie city was a short ride. Short but with a big climb. We had to cross the blue mountains, and there was no easy way to split it up evenly. So we split it into a short and a long day. Finally got to camp in the mountains again, which is always my favorite. Saw some prarie dogs.

The next day was 20 miles of climbing followed by a beautiful ride down to Baker City. I was exceptionally upset that day, so I only appreciated the gorgeous scenery later. Also got my first true flat tire of the trip. The headwind made it a long ride, but got to town eventually. Hotel and pizza to celebrate the long trek from central to eastern Oregon over. I took a day off to work on my bike and do some errands. My riding buddy went on. I also took the day to determine my future. I really wanted to quit, but instead, I just decided to take a break from the trans am route and cut 300-400 miles off my trip, and just cut east across Idaho. So forging my way. Baker city also had the kindest cat I’ve ever met. He cheered me up a lot. And Katie sent me a new bible, because I sent my big one home and Oregon bookstores don’t sell bibles. Thanks to Katie!

The next day was my longest yet at 80 miles even. About 10-11 hours of riding through the mountains. Finally made it to Idaho. Camped in Fruitland in a nice family’s backyard.

Then today I rode about 60 miles to Boise, where I will probably take another day off because I’m really trying to get parts to change the gearing on my rear tire. And possibly get a new seat because the saddle sores I have are not pleasant.

Here are the pictures. You can see how I do my laundry at hotels. You can see my typical meal; peanut butter burrito with whatever nuts fruits and meats I have lying around. They are really tasty. And if you’re an engineer you can see a web splice with 100 bolts! No particular order.

I don’t have a lot of time to write or share this week. I’m in the desert in Oregon (still) and it’s just been busy. Lots of riding and sleeping and looking for water.

Started in Corvallis. My credit card got stolen and my rear tire exploded. Got that taken care of and moved on. I rode for about 10 mile with a guy who lives in Coburg and has never had a job and always lived with his mom in the same place. Very interestingly he told me the defining story of his path in life, that he went after a girl in the exact same town I did, long ago, and he never got over it. It was like a warning to me to keep moving forward no matter the cost. I want my life to be defined by the redemption on the cross, and not my mistakes or my losses. That night I spent the night in a church yard, and it was completely isolated and peaceful. I believe that God led me there specifically that day. I had brought some things from my past that I never wanted to get rid of. I believe that the love of God is eternal, and that the perfect fellowship of people is eternal. So it has been hard reconciling the fact that things on earth break down, when I see the eternal quality of it. So that night God showed me that I don’t have to reconcile it. He has the answers. So I burned a couple of letters I never wanted to give up, and laid a friendship bracelet at the foot of the cross. The only thing I know is that on earth you give your best to God. Fully to God. Keep nothing for yourself. Die to everything in this world. In Revelation, Jesus talks a lot about what happens to one who overcomes. I cannot overcome anything on my own. But I can lay down my life, and all of my heart, to the one who did it for me. I have never felt more barehearted to God than that night. And as of today, I have no answers of what happens when you give up all the best things to God. I have hope and faith, and mountains of pain that Jesus already overcame. I know He knows the plans he has for me, and they are good. I don’t know the plans yet, and I don’t mind if I don’t know before I die. Faith is hard, but good.

The next day I rode up the Makenzie river, and got to see all the powerplants and dams my great grandad worked on building as a civil engineer many years ago. That was nice for me. Camped at the bottom of Makenzie pass in a thunderstorm, yet the weather was hot. Everyone I met along the way called the Makenzie pass a man eater, and they were right. 9 hours of climbing a loaded bike up a mountain. It broke my spirit. Yet at the top a group of casual bike riders cheered me and gave me a chair and snacks. And oh yeah, the weather a week before and after was all supposed to be sunny in the 90s. It was cloudy and misty and cool all day. So as usual, Matthew 6 is proved true again. God takes care of His children.

The next day, a former coworker drove me down to Bend to hang out and spend the night. It was great to see old coworkers, and it also made me happy that I quit my job. I miss the people (story of my life), but I don’t miss the work. I got cooked dinner by a Marine pilot who flew F-4s in Vietnam, so that was an honor.

After that was a peaceful ride from Sisters of Ochoco Lake, where I met another guy named Matt doing the same ride as me. He does longer rides than this ever year, so he is actually a serious bike guy. He was also a Parks and Recreation Director in Indiana, and they made a TV show about him apparently. I don’t know all the details.

Staying in a hostel in Mitchel right now. The pastor and his wife essentially put people up in the church. It’s an amazing ministry. My new riding buddy can’t figure out why people would be so kind and generous. Hopefully he figures it out.

Anyway, that was my week. I am still having a lot of mental trouble continuing, but still on the road. I think I have less than 4000 miles to go now, which is nice I guess. Feel free to reach out to me if you want to hear about how boring it is to ride a bike all day every day up mountains. Seriously, I don’t have a lot of good stories, it’s just some good but hard alone time with God.

Pictures still not in order. I figured out how to add multiple images at a time after uploading the first couple. That will make it easier.

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If I gave you this link in some way feel free to read. But my trip is my own private journey, and this isn’t a travel blog or anything like that. This is just for friends and family to keep up with how things are going. I’ve only shared with a few people, so please ask before you share with anyone. It’s pretty personal and private. I didn’t put any effort into making this site or figuring it out, so pardon the clunkiness. Thanks!

“You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house.

Haggai 1:9

Summary of my week: I want to quit every day. Mornings are the hardest. I threw up a lot the first few days from fear. The fear is still my biggest battle, but not the only one. If you know what I’ve been going through the last couple of years, you know my struggles with moving from the past into the future. It’s a journey of dying to myself, and probably harder than it needs to be, but it’s going.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12 something.

I cling to these promises as I walk through the tatters of the past. I walk from the place of “I want” to “I submit”. The time on earth is exceedingly short, and it is the “time to die”.

The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.

Neil Peart

Those words were written by a man who died to himself, but couln’t accept new life. I threw that book away months ago, because although his story has helped me many times, his conclusions are all wrong. I am taking his advice to follow my front tire, but that’s it. I remember buying his book in college, because I felt like I do now; scared of the changes and scared of the loneliness. Led by the hand of God I made it through that, and through all the next challenges, Wether I can finish this trip or not, I know I will be led forward.

OK here is a summary of my trip so far. My mind and my body have been in constant turmoil. I wanted to quit the first day, and every day since. I am giving it my best shot, and I am planning on NOT quitting due to my nerves, my anxiety, and my fears. But if my body cannot do this, and it never gets fun, or I figure out what I need to figure out, I will quit. I have no pride.

Laura drove me up to Astoria a week ago. We spent the night there. She had clam chowder that tasted MUCH better than anything I’ve had in Pismo. The next morning I drank a bunch of water and threw it all up. I took a wrong turn right away and had to backtrack several miles. Weather was foggy and rainy. I had one big climb (big being relative, much bigger climbs later) that broke my spirit. I spent 3 hours in a park in Seaside regretting my trip. I really thought about quitting. Ended up just getting a hotel, and then even staying there the entire next day. I was so discouraged.

I finally got up the courage to keep riding. I was so worried because I knew there were 3 big grades. And they kicked me hard. I huffed and puffed up them for hours. I also got clipped by an RV. The mirror hit my back and arm. It was a big surprise. It still hurts, but no major damage. Stayed in Wheeler that night. Dinner was mashed potatoes and a peanut butter burrito. A raccoon visited that night, which was nice.

The next day was actually an easy ride, and I stayed in Tillamook. body and mind still exhausted. Hard not to quit.

The next day I met up with a guy I had met a few days earlier, and we talked some. He encouraged me. He is a phycisist and the Senior chess champion of Kansas. He says it gets easier, but a week in and I still am not sure. Had a huge, steep climb that day. I wanted to wander into the forest and get eaten by bigfoot. But I made it. Filled up my water in a dirty auto parts sink. I got picked up in Pacific City by a friend of my grandfathers, my dad, and me. Him and his wife put me up for the night, and it was wonderful. They are kind and loving. And they had a great dog.

He drove me about 10 miles on my route. I don’t feel bad about it at all. It was nice. I was able to ride farther than any other day that day. It was hard and hot, but I made it to Independance, where there was a really nice biker boater campground next to the Willamete River. It was a peaceful night.

Now for today. I am in Corvallis, and my mind and body are in rough shape. Gonna wake up and see how tomorrow goes. Thanks to everyone that has given me encouragement. It means a lot to me, and I hope you know it. Feel free to reach out and check on me. Here are some of the pictures I took, not really in the correct order.

I caught up with her a few days later and got my revenge

There is my first week. Maybe my last as well, I don’t know yet. My mind and my body are challenged like never before. I’m at least giving this a shot. I love you all dearly.